you shoot me down, but i won’t fall…i am titanium
*dubstep*
*blasts off into the night*
2nd to last day of high school in a nutshell
h. creative writing: planning out the rest of my day
ap euro: finally found out what margaret thatcher did
yearbook: “im going to miss you guys so much” x1000 (and i actually meant it)
bible: last test
ap psych: did yearbook stuff, natch
ap english: WUTHERING HEIGHTS I LOVE THIS MOVIE #hopelessromanticblog2k12
ap chemistry: probably getting all the exam answers
ap calculus: doing real life work until the last minute
i dont wanna grow up
if i had a dollar for for every prom picture caption i’ve seen that says “my wonderful amazing boyfriend” or “i had so much fun with him <3 <3” i’d have enough money to fund my very own prom
this week….
finished all superlative pictures
5 tests last tuesday…how did i survive? the fact is i did and that was amazing
cap and gown pictures
campout
field day (SO GOOD)
joy prom and the whirlwind surrounding it (SO MUCH SO MUCH)
becoming somewhat of an internet celebrity
movies with meagan and haley
tyler zeller comes to summit
getting to be a buddy again at providence
getting a job opportunity
SO MANY OPEN DOORS
successful small group
amazing worship concert
finishing my homework sunday night and getting to bed before midnight
quite possibly the best week ever.
Post-Joy Prom Update
Humbled.
That’s a good way to summarize it.
Who am I to be able to deserve such a remarkable, fulfilling passion?
I’ve had a very very hard senior year. I’ve seen friendships and relationships dissolve and my self-esteem plummet. I’ve been wallowing in self-pity for a while, but I am renewed. I don’t know why God chose to give me such an evident way to live out Matthew 25:40 (And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’) but he did and I am eternally grateful for his conviction of me to do this.
I literally got to live Luke 14:12-14 (Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.) There is nothing more rewarding. Sure, I feel good about it. But I didn’t surrender my prom in order to feel better about myself. I did it to serve, and serving is loving, and love is the greatest thing that man is capable of, and thus truly satisfying. I am so satisfied.
Last night at joy prom, I did a lot of different things, but I spent most of my time as a hostess. I did whatever I could to make our guests feel welcome. If that means standing in line for pictures with them for a long time, I did it. If that means slow dancing to a fast song, I did it. I did everything I possibly could to put a smile on every face. This was not to say that I was doing the best job or I was likable or anything like that - think about it. These people spend every other day of the year cast aside and looked down upon. They each deserve one night to have people telling them that they are a prince or a princess, and not just a burden. Every single one of them is unique and made in the image of God and loved just as much as you and I - no matter if they have no social barriers or can’t walk or are missing an arm or leg or what.
The atmosphere was of pure joy. It was a delight to be there. My experience this year was more about my making other people happy than my last experience - of finding my identity. It was amazing. Of course Satan is doing absolutely everything he can to take the security of my decision away from me, reminding me that I missed a huge event in my life and that I will never get to do it again and I’ll never have the chance to be asked to prom. But I know that what I did has incredible eternal value. If I had to make the choice again, I would undoubtedly choose joy prom over my senior prom, no hesitation.
Why I’m not going to my senior prom
Recently, I’ve heard a lot of reasons why I’m not going to prom.
That’s right, from other people. I just want to clear the air.
It was not an act of defiance. I am not skipping out on prom because I’m too cool or too hipster or because I think anything badly of the whole concept of prom.
It was not because my last boyfriend and I recently broke up and I’m too heartbroken to go outside. How lame is that?
It was not because I couldn’t get a date. It was not based on my own insecurity.
It was not because I am afraid of seeing people who I used to hold close to my heart there. I am not spineless.
It was not because my last prom experience was terrible. It was actually pretty decent.
It was not because my mom said I couldn’t go or because I am too tired or because of any other reason besides this:
I have something else to do. Something I have to do. Not because I am some sort of prom martyr, but because I have a passion. Because I am someone fortunate enough to truly love to do something, and even more blessed to know exactly what that is.
I should give a backstory. (I actually wrote my college essay about this)
When I was in tenth grade, I had my heart set on going to prom with this guy. Things didn’t work out between us, and he decided to take someone else instead, and that crushed me. I searched all over for a different prom to go to, and my mom directed me to one that my church was having for people with special needs.
Now I was scared of people with special needs. I thought they were out of their minds and dangerous. But, for the sake of being able to look pretty for a night, I went.
I loved it. I spent the night with some absolutely amazing people, talking dancing and singing and having a marvelous time. But the thing is, it wasn’t about me anymore. I threw aside my social inhibitions and focused on giving these wonderful, unappreciated people the fabulous time they deserve. Here is my original post from the night.
Person after person I encountered at joy prom confirmed this new passion I had unearthed. I love people with special needs. They are the most joyful and trusting and humble and lovely human beings you will ever meet, and they are so often looked down upon, when in reality they are people just like us who want to be seen as something more than their disorder. I want them to know that the love of Christ envelops them and covers a multitude of sins, and one way to convey that is to love them with a love that transcends all understanding - despite every social barrier. I could go on about this, but I’ll save it for another post. I’ve spent the last two years working with kids with special needs, making sure that they feel valued and loved and important just like everyone else, and it is undoubtedly something I want to pursue for the rest of my life.
I know what you’re thinking. This is just one of those human rights things that teenage girls get into. But this is no kony 2012 deal. This is a present issue that people are facing every single day, and I have a good bit of proof for you if you want it. This is something you can change, and really, something I can change.
So this year, I’m going to joy prom. I’m sure going to miss dressing up and looking nice and riding around town with my date and taking pictures and eating great food and dancing with my friends and staying up all night at a breakfast with my senior class. But I know that in 20 years, this time I had wont matter one bit. But the fulfillment I get from helping someone disgustingly undervalued feel like a prince or a princess for a night will last for far longer.
I am in no way condemning prom - I am merely stating the call on my life. My sacrifice is not for attention, and I do not write this to call attention to myself or to be dramatic - I simply want you all to know the truth. That I am not going to my senior prom because I am going to be partaking of my life’s passion. Really, it’s no sacrifice at all.
this movie would be a whole lot more beneficial if i had marital problems
contents of my car:
gorilla suit
trashbag full of princess dress up clothes
cap & gown
snuggie
random blanket
wood/gardening tools
an extra change of clothes
a foam christmas tree
trash, lots of trash
like 14 gatorade bottles
senior plank
party supplies
i should clean this out
you know what i hate
when you’re talking about something you like to do and people respond
“i just dont have enough time for that”
listen
not to interrupt your condescending broadcast but i have a life too
i make time
ya nasty
never have i ever cared less about what people think about me than i do right now
like legitimately
i would come to school in a cat costume and just not care about the snickering
however i do care when people are rude
so dont be rude
that’s a basic rule of humanity
but seriously i just do not even care about how weird i am being
kinda cool
or maybe psychotic
hashtag yolo
i see that you’re complaining about the term yolo and how dumb it is
1. do you realize that no one on the internet over the age of 15 uses it in seriousness
2. do you realize that your bio says “carpe diem” and that’s the same dang thing
